Holding the Unholdable: Irish Guidance Counsellors in the aftermath of student suicide

Author: Dr Clare Finegan 

Student suicide is not a procedural event. It is a rupture, sudden, disorienting, and deeply human. For Irish guidance counsellors, who often become the first emotional responders, the experience leaves a mark that is rarely acknowledged in policy or practice. This article draws directly from their voices, focusing on what it was like to carry a school community through its most fragile moments. 

The moment the news breaks 

Every counsellor interviewed could recall, with striking clarity, the exact moment they learned a student had died by suicide. Their bodies remembered, too.  

One described, 

  “panic, anxiety, going into fifth gear, running.”  

Another spoke of, 

“flashbacks… creepy, evil… disturbing images.”  

For some, everyday objects became triggers: a tree, a rope, a hallway. One counsellor said she didn’t cry until months later, alone on holiday, because it was the first time she felt safe enough to let go. The school environment, she said, had felt anything but containing. 

The emotional labour no one sees 

Guidance counsellors are expected to be steady, composed, and endlessly available. Yet beneath that 

surface, many were struggling with shock, grief, guilt, anger, and fear. One counsellor felt blamed by colleagues:  

“Blood on your hands in some people’s eyes.” 

Another described the dread that settled in afterwards:  

“It’s the vigilance… God, I hope I don’t miss somebody else.” 

Several spoke of feeling betrayed by the student’s act, not out of judgment, but because they had invested so much care and connection. The emotional complexity of love, loss, guilt, and anger had nowhere to go. 

A system that wasn’t built for this 

What emerged most strongly was a sense of being left alone with an impossible burden.  

Counsellors described a “tsunami of students” arriving at their door, while external services offered brief advisory visits and then departed. The gap between what counsellors knew students needed and what the system allowed them to do created frustration and, for some, moral injury. 

“You’re at the mercy of your manager.” “It was a puppet show.” “You’re muzzled.” 

Many felt that school leadership defaulted to denial, minimisation, or rigid adherence to protocol 

strategies that protected the organisation but left staff emotionally exposed. 

The scars that remain 

Every participant described being changed by the experience. Some spoke of long-term anxiety, sleep 

disturbance, or intrusive memories. Others described a shift in how they approached their work toward greater boundaries, greater caution, and greater self-protection. 

“The scars are on my back.” “You never undo that learning.” 

Yet there was also resilience. Counsellors found strength in colleagues, in moments of connection with students, and in the knowledge that they had shown up fully, even when they felt overwhelmed.  

What needs to change 

The counsellors’ experiences point to clear, practical needs: 

• Sustained on-site postvention support, not briefadvisory visits 
• Trauma-informed leadership trainingfor organisational management 
• Clearer autonomy and role definitionfor guidance counsellors 
• Mandatory clinical supervisionfor staff involved in suicide response 
• Updated critical incident protocolsthat reflect the emotional reality, not just the 

       procedural one. 

Above all, organisations need systems that recognise that suicide is not just a critical incident but rather a traumatic event that reverberates through every layer of an organisational community. 

Conclusion 

Guidance counsellors carry the emotional weight of student suicide in ways that are rarely visible and often unsupported. Their stories reveal not only the depth of their commitment but also the gaps in the structures meant to hold them. Listening to their lived experiences is the first step toward building organisational systems that respond to suicide with humanity, containment, and care for students and for the adults who support them. 

Doctorate thesis is available @ DCU Library                   https://doras.dcu.ie/28032